he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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