I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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