All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
