I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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