i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
