I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
