if you like me you must not know who I am
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
