He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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