i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
