Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
