Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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