If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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