goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
