distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
