next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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