We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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