Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job