WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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