I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n