A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes