I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
This couple is walking their pig around campus