That's when you crack a 10am beer
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
