I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
