I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
