I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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