I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
