i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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