I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
