I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
