you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize