you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
id be glad to
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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