Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
