I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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