i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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