She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
