I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
