i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
