Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i need to put some appletini on your dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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