He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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