i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
