Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I think my moral compass just broke
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
