he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
