I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize