he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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