we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my shit smells like andre
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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