Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize