every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
