That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
