i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
