so explain again why im purple
no
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
