JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
