I smell stomach acid.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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