I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Is it because I queefed?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
