I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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