Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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