just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Let's get the cat blown out
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
