why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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