I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
