I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
