The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you never un-have a 4some
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize