It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
