I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
