oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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