Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
