Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
