You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
