i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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