It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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