I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize