I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
